


I don’t hate you

by Fandomrelease



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 19:50:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18184970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomrelease/pseuds/Fandomrelease
Summary: Y/N didn’t understand why Captain America, Earths most noble hero, hated her so much. She has had enough.





	1. Chapter 1

"Well, that was unexpected."  
Y/N wiped the sweat from her brow, eyeing the dead Hydra agents scattered across the base. You and Natasha had been sent on a quick data receiving mission when an armed assault had rained down on the two of you. 

Steve's going to want a full report- were you shot?"  
Natasha gripped your arm, inspecting the hole in the skin. You sigh, eyeing the blood "I just got this suit. You think Tony will make me another?"  
"I'm worried about your priorities, Y/N."  
"And I'm worried about my suit, Natasha. Come on, let's get out of here before it really goes to hell."  
-  
Joining the Avengers had not been planned. Whatsoever. You had lived a pretty normal life up until 'The Snap'. It wasn't until after the Avengers saved the world (again) that your unique ability showed itself. The power to heal not only yourself but others. Pretty nifty.  
By the time you reached the Avengers compound your wounds had healed. The second you stepped off the quinjet Captain America was there to hear all about your failed mission. Arms crossed and frown prominent. Has he thought of switching it up?

"Before you say anything, I want it on record that my powers are not future seeing, all knowing witchy nonsense."  
Steve un-crossed his arms, shaking his head. "Natasha informed me of what happened on coms, whilst you were removing not one, but two bullets." 

"And here I was going for three. I'll try harder next time." 

 

Steve really had this disappointed father look down. "This isn't a joking matter Y/N. If your not ready for the field I won't hesitate to put you back in training." 

Moving inside the compound you hesitate for a second. Training was not fun. It took months to convince the all knowing Steve Rogers that you were prepared for real action. You were good with hand to hand combat, and really good with dual swords. You weren't bad with most guns either. 

"I'd rather take a bullet." You wince, not thinking your words over. "I swear I'll be more vigilante. Honestly. Those Hydra agents just had the element of surprise. I'll be more on guard." 

"Train more or your out." 

Steve left you then, choosing to talk with Natasha while you continued on to your room. You were annoyed. You had worked hard, proved yourself time and time again. It wasn't uncommon for a team member to be injured whilst out on the field, it comes with the job. 

Steve had been extra hard on you from the beginning, and everyone knew it. Not many knew why. You and Peter had often trained together, him making as many or more mistakes than you, and yet Steve chose to ridicule you more than Peter. You would feel his eyes on you constantly, waiting for you to screw up. You once thought it was because you were a girl, but after seeing how Steve was with Wanda and Natasha you knew that wasn't the case. You had super healing, it didn't matter if you were shot on a mission. According to Steve, it did.

   
Once in the bathroom you tore off the blood stained suit, turning on the shower and stepping inside. Watching as the scar on your arm smoothed over you sighed. All those years ago, when The Avengers were first assembled, you had thought Captain America was great. This strong, chivalrous man. You still thought that. You like him more than you should. Especially since he often treats you like you don't belong on the team.  
He didn't treat you like garbage, he just wanted you to be safe. You knew that. But you were trying so hard. You just wanted that recognition.  
-  
After changing into something comfortable you decide that food would definitely help you get over the Steve vs Sanity monologue you had going on in your head. Moving into the kitchen you see Tony.While he sat looking at one of the many iPad screens in front of him, he moved an extra glass of scotch in your direction. "Drink. It helps with the pain." 

"You know I'm all healed up." You take the drink anyway, walking past to open the fridge. 

"Yeah well, drink anyway." 

You hum as you find the food that you like, taking it out and sitting opposite Tony. "I have something to say, and I don't want you to be mad." 

"If it's about your suit, I'm disappointed. Not mad." 

You huff a laugh, taking a swig of the liquor. "Everyone knows that's worse." 

"You'll have a new suit by morning. Heard Capsicle gave you a hard time." 

You take a long swig after that. Tony smirks. "For a nice guy, he's kind of an ass." 

"He likes you kiddo. Just go up to him and kiss him. God knows he won't make the first move." 

Wade made his way into the kitchen, stealing a bite of your food. Having apparently heard your conversation he made himself comfortable.

"Wonder how long it's been since he got laid? Maybe he is a virgin, wouldn't you want to find out."  

You sputter, nearly falling off your seat as you cough. Tony just sat there, not at all fazed by what Wade said. "Excuse me?" 

"He is only hard on you because he has a massive boner for you. Medium boner. Get back to me on that. Or don't, I don't need to know. Not that I'm not curious. Did that juice they put in him make everything big or-" 

You hold up your hand, eyes wide "I'm going to stop you there." 

Tony stood, gathering all his electronics. "As riveting as this conversation is, I really need to focus." 

"He's just leaving because he hates me, isn't he." Wade pouts, stealing more of your food. 

"Well, maybe." You shrug, taking back possession of your meal. 

Rude." 

——

 

The next day came as quick as Wade did with his unicorn. 

Steve had everyone wake up early to discuss yet another mission. You had been sitting for too long. Every time you moved Steve would look over at you like you were a disobedient child. You had been in this meeting for over two hours now, if it didn't start getting somewhere soon you were going to lose it.

You breathe slowly, un crossing your legs and raising  an eyebrow when Steve looks over at you again. He crossed his arms as he sat back in his chair.

"Since Natasha and Y/N failed receiving the information regarding Hydras newest experiments, we need to send another team. They won't be expecting us to try again so soon." 

You're about to defend yourself and Natasha when the red head shoots you a warning look from across the table. Tony finally peels his eyes away from the phone in front of him, choosing to look around the room when he asks "Who's the lucky two?" 

Steve smiles like the smug ass he's been all meeting. "I'll be using this opportunity to show Y/N how a mission is properly executed." 

"I had no problem executing anyone, thank you." You growl. 

"The mission was not to execute. It was to receive information, and you failed." 

"What's so wrong with killing a few Hydra agents? The less there are the better." 

Steve looks like he's about to lose it. It would be funny if you weren't so annoyed.  

"I sent you to do one thing. I expect you to do it." 

Wanda claps her hands as if it would remove the tension from the room. Springing up from her chair she smiles, "Since we know who's going on the mission, I think I'm going to go do that thing I had planned." 

The rest of the team head for the door. Great. Now it was just you and Steve.  
You clear your throat when he looks at you expectantly.

"I don't want to fight Steve. I'll go on this mission with you, I'll get whatever is on that hard-drive, and then I'll continue accepting that you have some weird unexplainable beef with me." 

Steve faltered, cocking his head to the side. "Beef?" 

You wave your hand as way of explaining. "A problem with me. I'll continue accepting that you have a problem with me." 

Standing from his chair, Steve sighed tiredly. He looked exhausted in that moment, like he carried the worlds weight on his shoulders. In a way he kind of did. His hair looked like he had run his hand through it all day, and the slight bags under his eyes suggested he had been up most of the night. If he wasn't such a dick to you, you would ask him what was on his mind. You wish you could have a healthier relationship with him. But alas, he was an ass. 

"It was wrong of Tony to bring you here, for you to join the Avengers." 

You hadn't expected that. Looking over at him you see he is completely serious, his face almost harsh. You scoff, not too sure of what to do. You opt for picking up your jacket from the table, shrugging it on as you turn for the door. "I'll see you on the mission Steve. I'll try not to get in your way." 

—

The first twenty minutes of the mission were smooth. No Hydra agents were seen, which was odd but you weren’t going to question good luck. 

Twenty one minutes in, shit was going down. As worried as you were in that moment, you were also so pleased that the all knowing Captain America had been caught in an almost identical situation that he himself had given you shit over. Steve had just uploaded all the Hydra information to Stark when a handful of hostiles barged into the office.

The look on his face when you pushed him out of the way of an assault of bullets was worth the pain. Almost. Five bullets lodged right in your chest. Not how you previously planned your day. 

Steve made quick work of killing the agents. You couldn't focus on what exactly was happening. There was a lot of grunting and snapping of bones and then there were strong, warm hands lifting you into an even warmer embrace. You could feel liquid all over. More and more coating your chest until you couldn't feel anything anymore. Nothing but the beat of a heart that wasn't yours. It was beating so fast. Someone was screaming for you to stay awake, please stay awake.  

 

You want to reassure them that you're fine. You'll take a nap and you will heal, and it will all be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve had made many mistakes. Too many to mention. Y/N had been his responsibility. He was tasked with teaching this incredible girl how to handle being an Avenger, and here he sat waiting for you to wake up from being shot in the heart four times, and once in the collarbone. If it wasn't for your healing you would be dead. Your healing. Steve had never been more thankful for anything in his life. Not even the serum that ran through his body.

He took a hold of your hand, small and seemingly weak compared to his. He knew you weren't weak. Your strength rivaled his. He hated to admit it but you were strong, not only physically but mentally. He hated himself. He had forced you on that mission. Not only that, but he had treated you unfairly since he had met you.

He hated how he treated you, but he had convinced himself long ago that he was no longer interested in anything other than work. And that involved feelings for a woman. Especially feelings for a woman. No matter how strong those feeling were. And God, they were strong. He hadn't felt anything so strongly since Peggy, and well, that didn't exactly work out. 

When Steve first saw Y/N she was talking with Peter. He hadn't seen a smile make anyone seem so bright before, like something that might hurt your eyes if you look at it for too long. She laughed so beautifully that he felt like one of one suckers in those Disney movies Wade made him watch. Something so precious shouldn't be in a world so dark, especially right in the heart of battle. 

 

When he got to know her he learned that she wasn't only a beautiful face. She was loving, and genuine. She went out of her way to help anyone that needed it. She made an amazing Avenger. She was also sarcastic, and quick witted. She was all that Steve thought about, and it drove him crazy.  
Steve sighed, about to get comfortable enough to sleep in the hard chair when Y/Ns eyes opened warily. 

"Jesus, why are the lights so bright?" 

 

—-

Steve shot out of his chair, "You're awake, you're actually awake." 

You feel his hand holding yours, strong and warm. "There's those keen observation skills. I was wondering where they went."

You remove your hand from his, noticing the blush across his cheeks and the slight crease in his forehead. You suppose you would blush too if you were caught comforting the person you seemingly dislike. Though you couldn't explain the hurt that crossed his face. 

Sitting up you notice a slight ache in your chest, but you're otherwise fine. Looking Steve over you notice he is still wearing his uniform. Had he stayed with you this whole time?

"I guess now is as good a time as any to hear the scolding you've sat there planning in your head. Is it back to training, or am I terminated from the Avengers?" 

"Y/N, you saved my life. You saved my life when I was the one that put us both in danger. I'm so sorry." 

 

What? That sounded nothing like the Steve Rogers you had come to know. Sure that's how he sounded with other people, but not with you. "Excuse me?" 

Steve sighed, sitting back down in the uncomfortable looking plastic seat beside your bed. "The recon we received was wrong. I should have known something wasn't right. It was all too easy, up until it wasn't." 

He looked distraught, like he had been through another war. "I'm so sorry for putting you in that position. I-" 

You grab hold of Steve's hand, the mans blue eyes searching yours when you do. "Steve, I know we don't exactly get along, but I wasn't about to let you die. It was not your fault that we came under fire. Sure you sent me on the mission, but you didn't pull the trigger." 

"If we are ever in that position again, you save yourself. Okay? You shoot and you leave." 

The desperation in his eyes was clear, it only confused you more. “I think we both know that's not who I am Steve. If I were I wouldn't be an Avenger." 

Steve understood. That much was clear on his face. "I also wanted to apologize for how I've been treating you-"   
The door to the lab opened, effectively cutting Steve off.

Bruce smiled when he saw that you were awake, though his eyes flitted to yours and Steve's linked hands. "Y/N, good to see you alive and awake. We weren't sure if you would survive this time." 

"Well, I like to keep you guessing." 

"Well, if four shots to the heart couldn't kill you, I don't think anything can." 

"You hear that Steve? Broke my record." 

——

You were up and ready for a mission by the next morning. Unfortunately, Steve and Tony had decided that you being confined to the city for a week would ease everyone's mind. You decided to go along with it. Well you gave in after everyone made a massive fuss about you volunteering yourself for every mission that came up. One week. You could do that. 

 

——

You were bored. You were so god damn bored. You had sat around reading, watching TV, even playing video games with Peter and yet nothing held your attention for very long. The only thing you wanted to do was train, but Bruce had wanted you to take it easy. 

"What's up buttercup?" Wade flopped down on the couch beside you, popcorn stuffed in his mouth. 

"Absolutely nothing. Feel like I'm losing my mind." 

The man child swung his legs onto your lap as he changed the channel. "We could go for chimichangas, I'd love a chimi fucking changa." 

"I thought you were going Vegan?" 

Wade gasped, "I'd rather deep throat a sandpaper dildo." 

You laughed as you stood. You looked around for whatever car keys were closest. "I'll go get us some food and then we can pig out and watch some trashy romance that we can make fun of. Sound good?" 

"Y/N you beautiful Disney Princess. Nothing sexier has ever been said." 

—

You had splurged a bit on food. Not an hour later you were back on the couch with Wade, plates of pizza, Thai, chimichangas, and sweets on the short table in front of you. Wade had selected the movie, some horribly filmed trashy romance you had both agreed on watching beforehand.

By the first fifteen minutes of the movie Steve and Sam entered the compound, fresh from a mission. 

"Save me some of that pizza, Y/N and I'll share all the gory details of the mission." Sam yelled as he went off to presumably shower. 

You get up to get another plate ready, offering a smile to Steve as you pass. In the past two days since you woke in the lab you and Steve had been civil. You didn't know how long it would last, but it was refreshing. You decided to enjoy it, and not push your luck. 

"Would you like to join us Steve? There's plenty of food. The movie is horrible but that's kind of the point." 

You can’t tell the soldier is stiff, not being used to you being nice to him.   
"I'd love some food, thank you. Although I'm confused as to why you would subject yourself to a movie you don't enjoy?" 

You smile, reaching into the cupboard for two plates. "I guess it's kind of silly. Wade and I just like making fun of how ridiculous and far fetched romantic movies are." 

"Not one for romance then?" 

"Not one for grand gestures and angst. Find it all so unrealistic." 

"I don't know about the angst, but you've never dreamed about someone making a big statement for you? I always thought that would be nice, someone expressing their love." 

You wrinkle your nose, thinking back to all the cringe worthy moments in romantic cinema. "I believe love doesn't need to be grand. Simple things work for me. Like someone getting me soup when I'm sick, or holding my hand. I don't need someone to fill my apartment with flowers." 

Steve nods, smiling when you hand him a plate. "Noted." 

"What?" 

Steve blushed, holding up the plate in the direction of the movie screen. "Let's go finish the movie, wouldn't want to miss anything horrible."

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing anything, especially fan fiction... so wish me luck xx


End file.
